Weight is a sensitive subject. It is a clear, universal understanding. Everybody is aware of this. Or at least I thought so because come on, this is one of life’s simple rules.
Today, a small boy of 7 finds offence in hearing people comment on his suddenly chubby cheeks and jutting tummy. I discovered this from my little nephews. Years ago, my niece, who was in primary school then, even went on a diet in an effort to flatten her so-called bulging tummy. And her bulge was barely even there. Children nowadays are getting so self-conscious.
So, if children as young as 7 who has no comprehensive understanding of image and face-value are reacting negatively to this how do you think adults take it when they hear blunt comments made on their expanding waistlines in full hearing range of others?
I have mentioned before that I have gained weight in recent months. I deduced it was contributed by the fact that I was on leave for awhile from work late last year and I had too much time on hand. I was, also, very happy.
Day in and out, I see the full view of my entire body and I accepted the reality that I have piled on the kilos. So who do you think is the greatest observer here? I am my very own best witness. To me, I try to see it positively and take it that I am courageous enough to admit that I have gained weight. I do not feel proud for saying it out loud because it can be unnerving and uncomfortable to do so. Yet I see no shame in admitting so.
The old folks always say, don’t gain weight now because it will be harder to lose them later. And I agree because losing the extra weight is one hell of a tedious chore.
And this brings me to what I have been wanting to blog about for a while now.
As much as I feel gutsy enough to acknowledge and to listen, I am a young woman, engaged to be married and I have feelings just like any others. I am a growing woman, conscious of my figure, my weight and my appearance.
I am nowhere near being in denial or delusional and I cannot emphasise any more how much I agree with everyone on my weight gain. When the gain became obvious, I had braced myself for the coming verbal onslaught or so-called advice according to some. This is highly dependent on how the other party comments on the weight gain.
As tough as it may be to be on the receiving end, I think it is perfectly fine for a family member to remark that I am looking heavier now or to remind me that my wedding is nearing. I also wouldn’t mind if a close friend makes the observation while in conversation with me if her intent is of concern and not to ridicule.
What I don’t appreciate is when someone blatantly makes the comment in the middle of a shopping mall in front of his incredibly skinny friend and other people that I know. That and complete with vigour hand actions to accentuate further his already fiery words.
I could also do without this lady cousin of mine who grabbed me by the right cheek and pinched me relentlessly right there in public not once but twice.
And finally, we have the relatives, mostly the still sound-in-the-head aunts and uncles, whom you haven’t seen for awhile. Oh God, I hate this one. I truly loathe this one. They will make the remark today in front of a thousand others of your relatives as the hearing audience and the next week, they see you, they comment again. Really, guys?!
They probably never stop for a second to consider how the above incidents made me feel? I probably should feel honoured that they consider my weight gain so significant in their lives.
Like I claimed earlier, I wouldn’t mind if they wish to comment even though truthfully, I don’t see what rights they have to interfere. But there is a place and time and the correct way to dish out their comments. Also, there is a major difference between shaming someone and advising someone. Sadly, this seems like rocket science for some to comprehend.
I don’t understand how anyone could even bring up the weight issue to another person. This is solely my perspective. I feel that it is insensitive, almost like invading into another person’s private territory. I think it is disrespectful and I find it just wrong to subject anyone to such upsetting comments in front of an audience.
I am so glad that I am a sensitive person who takes into considerations the feelings of others. I am so proud of my parents’ upbringing because without that, I would have ended up just like one of them. It is very hard to hear me make comments about another person’s physique. I will think twice.
I have spoken about this to my fiancé a few times already and this was what he said yesterday:
“This is part of human nature. Whatever it is, we are responsible for who we are and we have our own choice of who we want to be. So babe, don’t think that you are ugly with what these people said. Being fatter means you are well-fed and that is nothing to be ashamed off. Show it to them that you are not ashamed and not demoralised by their words. Don’t let this affect you because if you do, then you will be on the losing end.”
He always knows when to say what and how. He is the only person who truly understands me and my reactions to such issues. He keeps me grounded and burst my bubble if he has to in order to let me know if there’s some truth in certain issues and to remind me that it’s perfectly alright.
You know, I am a very easy person. All these weight gain comments will get me extremely pissed at the very beginning. But give it a day or two. It usually doesn’t take me long to get over it. Really, my family members are my honest witnesses!
Well, what’s a blog for if not for some mild seasonal ranting over life’s petty trivia?
I started the year with the motivation to work out and lose the weight. It has been difficult keeping discipline and sticking to a new diet; this I have to be honest. But I am not giving up. Hell no!
The first deadline I’ve set for myself is Eid 2013. I hope to look much svelte than now by then. The next one would be during my very first fitting with the magnificent bridal company I’ve booked with.